If you are in school and you've ever been picked on, or made fun of....If you have a job and you've had someone do something to anger you, or hurt you....If you have struggled in any way on how to "deal" with certain people in your life....then this is for YOU!
I am reminded today of my school years and some of the tough times I had. How I was picked on and made fun of, etc. I never thought I would think about those days ever again.....until now.
My son, Nicholas, came home from school the other day and helped me work on some things. A little while into our conversation, I asked, "So, tell me about your friends at school....have you made a "best friend" yet?" (he is still new to the school) He went on to tell me of a boy who he is friends with, how he wears glasses, and how he likes Pokeman. My son said that he (himself) gets made fun of for hanging around the young boy. I asked, "why do you hang out with him if you just get made fun of?" He said that he hangs with him because no one else does, and he wants to try to protect him from being bullied. I was taken back by his comment. I asked, "so tell me how you protect him..." He explained several ways that he stands up for this kid, and all the while I must say I was pretty impressed. There were a few pointers I thought I could give, but I started thinking about how I used to be picked on. I really didn't have one good answer on how he could deal with them. Then, praise God, it hit me!
I remembered a bible verse that talked about how to deal with "bullies". (or anyone you might call enemy) I couldn't remember where exactly it was in the Bible, so we looked it up together. It's found in Romans 12:9-21. In a nutshell verse 21 says it plain and clear...."do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. My sons eyes grew big as if he had discovered a hidden treasure! We had a great discussion about the verses and he seemed to feel much better after we talked. I even wrote the verse on a sticky note and he stuck it on the wall by his bed so he wouldn't forget it! Yeah, so, great story huh?!
The point of me telling this story is that I learned something. I was helping my son to deal with his "bullies", but God used it to help me in dealing with my own so called bullies. We sometimes try to forget things that happened in the past. Forget and move on right? Well, we shouldn't dwell on our past, but don't forget it either because it's what got you where you are today. The good, the bad, the ugly. Every single part of it helped shape and mold you. I'm far from being shaped and molded to what God wants me to be, but it's refreshing to know that He is doing a work in me, through my kids, through the "bullies" I face in everyday life, through my wife, through the homeless guy on the side of the road, through my church, through my work, through my friends, through my enemies, or through anything I might encounter in my daily life. If we will just open our eyes, we can see God in all things. I am learning to see God in all those around me. The ones that are easy to love, and even the ones that are seemingly hard to love.
(This is for my two sons Nicholas and Luke who, without knowing, have been used by my God to teach me so many things. For that I am truly grateful)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
A LIFE LESS LED
So you're probably wondering what I mean by "life less led"........well, allow me to explain. I'm referring to the leading of God in our lives. I'm talking about going from involving Him in our "smallest" of decisions, to just making the decisions ourselves because we already "know" what God wants. You could call it backsiliding, or you could even call it compromising your faith. Either way, something has happened to cause you lose focus of the God in your life. When we do this, we tend to fall back into old habits and sometimes even create new "bad" habits. So, the question is, "what causes this so called "backsliding" if you will"?
PRIDE:
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverb 16:18)
"If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall." (1 Cor. 10:12)
Pride is a very difficult thing to detect. It's what tell us that we don't need God's direction in our lives. Have you ever tried to justify a wrongdoing in your life? Well, that's a form of pride. The "justification of sin" is a deadly thing to the Christian faith these days. Galatians 5:4 tells us, "You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace." Ok, so "justified" means to be made acceptable to God. The "law" cannot justify us. Only Christ himself can make us acceptable to God. But if we are following the "law", aren't we doing good things? Of course! But lets say you help an elderly woman cross the street......the Christian who is "walking" with God might say something like this, "Jesus has been kind to me, so I want to be kind to others." Where the person who is not walking with Christ might say, "I am acceptable to God because I helped this lady." You might not use those exact words, but you get the point. Pride can make us think we are impressing God, when in fact, we are moving further away from Him. James 4:6 says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
SIN:
Galatians 5:13 says, “You were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Sin is an act of pride. You might say, "I can lead myself, I don't need God to tell me what to do." When you are faced with hard times that may cause you to doubt, do you turn to the Lord, or away from Him? When we sin, we are apart from God. That means, we are not with Him. When we spend less time seeking God's direction, we tend to be slack, mostly in our prayer life, and even in our reading of God's word. Without God's direction, we will lead ourselves. The end result is a sinful life AWAY from God. Jesus said in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.”
“Justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind, we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.” – Isaiah 59:9-10......Does this explain how you feel sometimes, or how you have felt before? Have you ever felt like your heart was empty? If you have, It's because we were made to have a relationship with Christ, and without it we feel useless, worthless, and like nobody loves us. Maybe you know the love of Christ, and maybe you don't, but one thing is true......once you've tasted of the Lord, nothing else will ever truly satisfy your soul. When we "backslide", we try to replace God's perfect love with things that are imperfect. But the Lord has His arms stretched out and is ready to forgive and restore you.
We have to "come back" to God.
“I will frown on you on longer, for I am merciful, declares the Lord, I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt – you have rebelled against the Lord your God” – Jeremiah 3:12
“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” – 1 John 1:7
We have to pray.
“Our offenses are many in your sight, and our sins testify against us. Our offenses are ever with us, and we acknowledge our iniquities.” – Isaiah 59:12
He will forgive us.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
He will restore us.
“I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for My anger has turned away from them.” – Hosea 14:4
“Peace, peace, to those far and near, says the Lord.” – Isaiah 57:19
PRIDE:
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverb 16:18)
"If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall." (1 Cor. 10:12)
Pride is a very difficult thing to detect. It's what tell us that we don't need God's direction in our lives. Have you ever tried to justify a wrongdoing in your life? Well, that's a form of pride. The "justification of sin" is a deadly thing to the Christian faith these days. Galatians 5:4 tells us, "You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace." Ok, so "justified" means to be made acceptable to God. The "law" cannot justify us. Only Christ himself can make us acceptable to God. But if we are following the "law", aren't we doing good things? Of course! But lets say you help an elderly woman cross the street......the Christian who is "walking" with God might say something like this, "Jesus has been kind to me, so I want to be kind to others." Where the person who is not walking with Christ might say, "I am acceptable to God because I helped this lady." You might not use those exact words, but you get the point. Pride can make us think we are impressing God, when in fact, we are moving further away from Him. James 4:6 says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
SIN:
Galatians 5:13 says, “You were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Sin is an act of pride. You might say, "I can lead myself, I don't need God to tell me what to do." When you are faced with hard times that may cause you to doubt, do you turn to the Lord, or away from Him? When we sin, we are apart from God. That means, we are not with Him. When we spend less time seeking God's direction, we tend to be slack, mostly in our prayer life, and even in our reading of God's word. Without God's direction, we will lead ourselves. The end result is a sinful life AWAY from God. Jesus said in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.”
“Justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind, we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead.” – Isaiah 59:9-10......Does this explain how you feel sometimes, or how you have felt before? Have you ever felt like your heart was empty? If you have, It's because we were made to have a relationship with Christ, and without it we feel useless, worthless, and like nobody loves us. Maybe you know the love of Christ, and maybe you don't, but one thing is true......once you've tasted of the Lord, nothing else will ever truly satisfy your soul. When we "backslide", we try to replace God's perfect love with things that are imperfect. But the Lord has His arms stretched out and is ready to forgive and restore you.
We have to "come back" to God.
“I will frown on you on longer, for I am merciful, declares the Lord, I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt – you have rebelled against the Lord your God” – Jeremiah 3:12
“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” – 1 John 1:7
We have to pray.
“Our offenses are many in your sight, and our sins testify against us. Our offenses are ever with us, and we acknowledge our iniquities.” – Isaiah 59:12
He will forgive us.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
He will restore us.
“I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for My anger has turned away from them.” – Hosea 14:4
“Peace, peace, to those far and near, says the Lord.” – Isaiah 57:19
Thursday, February 3, 2011
THE COMITTMENT OF DATING
OK. So you're attracted to someone. So you ask this person if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. The person answers "no". Then you ask them "out". You know, like on a "date". You set up a time, go somewhere like a movie, or maybe dinner. Then what? You do it again right? Date #2! Let me stop right here before I go any further.............Dating is a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
So the art of dating is to ultimately get to know someone. To see if they possess qualities that you might want in a long-term relationship, sometimes called "marriage"! But how do we go about this "dating" thing? Is that really our goal? Are we seeking to find "a mate", or to learn what "qualities" we would like IN a mate? Either way, what is the "point" of dating? Why do TEENS, especially, feel the NEED to go on dates? Is it healthy?
The problem with "dating", or rather, the perception of dating, is that we tend to see it as a commitment. Well, it's not. So what we do is "commit" ourselves to getting to know someone? Or we "commit" ourselves to someone that we don't really know? Are you as confused as I am right now? How can we throw committment in this thing called dating? WHY do we? Are we using dating as committment "practice"?
I don't have all the answers for the issues that lie within the world of dating, but I believe that the committment side of dating, which there shouldn't be, is what causes so much anger and pain in the hearts of our teens. They say, "I can't belive _________would do this to me!" Are we, somewhat, setting our teens up for heartache by letting them date? Can they possibly get to know the opposite sex without having to be called a boyfriend/girlfriend?
There is so much peer pressure for both boys/girls to BE or HAVE a boyfriend/girlfriend. We, as parents, need to fight that pressure and let our children know that it is OK if they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Let's let our kids know that it's good to get to know people in a dating manner, but it doesn't have to come with all the added pressure. And the pressure doesn't end at the title boyfriend/girlfriend. It goes much deeper than that.
This is a HUGE thing to deal with in the life of a teen.........so please, talk to your kids about this. Tell them how you feel, and if nothing else, let them know that they can talk to you about it, because they DO have a lot of questions, and you may not even have all the answers (I don't), but if you have a heart full of love for your child, they WILL see it, and that alone could be a HUGE testament to what they are looking for in a mate.
So the art of dating is to ultimately get to know someone. To see if they possess qualities that you might want in a long-term relationship, sometimes called "marriage"! But how do we go about this "dating" thing? Is that really our goal? Are we seeking to find "a mate", or to learn what "qualities" we would like IN a mate? Either way, what is the "point" of dating? Why do TEENS, especially, feel the NEED to go on dates? Is it healthy?
The problem with "dating", or rather, the perception of dating, is that we tend to see it as a commitment. Well, it's not. So what we do is "commit" ourselves to getting to know someone? Or we "commit" ourselves to someone that we don't really know? Are you as confused as I am right now? How can we throw committment in this thing called dating? WHY do we? Are we using dating as committment "practice"?
I don't have all the answers for the issues that lie within the world of dating, but I believe that the committment side of dating, which there shouldn't be, is what causes so much anger and pain in the hearts of our teens. They say, "I can't belive _________would do this to me!" Are we, somewhat, setting our teens up for heartache by letting them date? Can they possibly get to know the opposite sex without having to be called a boyfriend/girlfriend?
There is so much peer pressure for both boys/girls to BE or HAVE a boyfriend/girlfriend. We, as parents, need to fight that pressure and let our children know that it is OK if they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Let's let our kids know that it's good to get to know people in a dating manner, but it doesn't have to come with all the added pressure. And the pressure doesn't end at the title boyfriend/girlfriend. It goes much deeper than that.
This is a HUGE thing to deal with in the life of a teen.........so please, talk to your kids about this. Tell them how you feel, and if nothing else, let them know that they can talk to you about it, because they DO have a lot of questions, and you may not even have all the answers (I don't), but if you have a heart full of love for your child, they WILL see it, and that alone could be a HUGE testament to what they are looking for in a mate.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Mind of a Child
Today during preparations for tonight's lesson, my son decided to "check" on me in my office. When he did, I proceeded to ask him some questions that had to do with the lesson. This is a story I will never forget, and will cherish for the rest of my life.
The lesson that I used was from another Sunday School teacher's previous lesson that I received via email, titled "When Satan Comes Knocking (and he will)". It talks about the thoughts that Satan puts in our mind and how to deal with them. As I prepared, I tried to gear the lesson more towards youth since it was originally intended for adults.I don't know what made me do this, but when Nicholas walked in my office to "check" on me, I asked him if he ever had "wrong thoughts", to which he replied "yes". What I'm about to tell may make you laugh, but my hope is that whoever reads this will have a new hope in the daily spiritual battle that we face.
We presumed to talk about an incident that had recently happened. On a normal day, Nicholas is to walk to his cousins house right after school, no where else. On this particular day I received a phone call from his cousin worried about where he was. Oh yes, he was in big trouble! This was his bad thought, that he could do something he wasn't supposed to do.....obviously!
As Nicholas proceeded further into my office I then asked him, "so do you think it's wrong to have those kind of thoughts?", "yes", he replied. "Why", I asked. "Ummm.....because I knew I shouldn't do it?". I asked, "did you want to do this bad thought?", "I bet you had been thinking about it all day!". His reply was this, "Actually, I had been thinking about it for three days." Right there is where my jaw dropped in amazement. My son had actually thought about this for "three" days!! Wow! That's when God reminded me of those times when I have seen my son so upset with himself for doing something that he truly did not want to do; so frustrated with himself it seemed as though he could pull every hair from his head. I quickly remembered how I had felt that very same way before and felt compelled to tell him the story of when Jesus was tempted in the desert.
I told him the story and explained to him how we ourselves can't fight away evil thoughts, and how we should see how Jesus handled these things. In the story of Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan, Jesus "fought" the thoughts that the devil was trying to place in His mind every single time using scripture. I told him all the lies that I could think of that the devil tells us, just like the ones he tried to tell Jesus. I explained to him how we have to have God's help when we fight those thoughts, and how God gives us His word to help us do that! Keep reading, this is where it gets really exciting!!
As I explained Jesus answer to the devil, Nicholas began to "recite" what he was going to say to the devil the next time he had a bad thought. At first he would say, "If the devil says to do something bad, I'll tell him NO, I won't do that because I don't like being grounded and God....."STOP right there Nicholas", I said. "It's not about YOU, it's about GOD! You think the devil cares if you get grounded or not? No! Try and say it like this, "NO, because GOD says......". I repeated this to him several times until I thought he had it. Finally he goes, "I'll say, "NO, because God say to honor your father and mother." You could see the look of confidence in his face as he recited his response to the devil when bombarded with wrong thoughts.
He then left my office and said he would be right back. When he returned, he handed me a letter and this is what it said,
"Dear Dad, Thank you for reading that story to me, and teaching me what to think and what not to think! Here's what I would say to the devil! (Devil)"Hey, go play basketball, you won't get in trouble." (Nicholas)"NO, because God says honor your father and mother."
If we, as Christians, could come to the point where we aren't afraid to stand in front of a mirror and "recite" our response to the devil's temptations, imagine the strength we would find in God!! Instead of listening to the devil say, "well you'll look like a fool doing that in front of a mirror!", we could be like my 9yr old son, Nicholas, and PRACTICE what we would do/say when we are being tempted by the devil. The devil will never stop tempting us, so we must never stop "practicing" how to react to those temptations! Don't grow up. "grow down"! Don't let the thought of "seeming" like an idiot for practicing your response to the devil's temptations stop you from actually doing it!!
Tonight I learned that my 9yr old son is stronger than me in this, that he is not afraid to do/say something that "I" would deem ridiculous or crazy. Thank you God for showing me that sometimes I need to be a kid again. Amen!
The lesson that I used was from another Sunday School teacher's previous lesson that I received via email, titled "When Satan Comes Knocking (and he will)". It talks about the thoughts that Satan puts in our mind and how to deal with them. As I prepared, I tried to gear the lesson more towards youth since it was originally intended for adults.I don't know what made me do this, but when Nicholas walked in my office to "check" on me, I asked him if he ever had "wrong thoughts", to which he replied "yes". What I'm about to tell may make you laugh, but my hope is that whoever reads this will have a new hope in the daily spiritual battle that we face.
We presumed to talk about an incident that had recently happened. On a normal day, Nicholas is to walk to his cousins house right after school, no where else. On this particular day I received a phone call from his cousin worried about where he was. Oh yes, he was in big trouble! This was his bad thought, that he could do something he wasn't supposed to do.....obviously!
As Nicholas proceeded further into my office I then asked him, "so do you think it's wrong to have those kind of thoughts?", "yes", he replied. "Why", I asked. "Ummm.....because I knew I shouldn't do it?". I asked, "did you want to do this bad thought?", "I bet you had been thinking about it all day!". His reply was this, "Actually, I had been thinking about it for three days." Right there is where my jaw dropped in amazement. My son had actually thought about this for "three" days!! Wow! That's when God reminded me of those times when I have seen my son so upset with himself for doing something that he truly did not want to do; so frustrated with himself it seemed as though he could pull every hair from his head. I quickly remembered how I had felt that very same way before and felt compelled to tell him the story of when Jesus was tempted in the desert.
I told him the story and explained to him how we ourselves can't fight away evil thoughts, and how we should see how Jesus handled these things. In the story of Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan, Jesus "fought" the thoughts that the devil was trying to place in His mind every single time using scripture. I told him all the lies that I could think of that the devil tells us, just like the ones he tried to tell Jesus. I explained to him how we have to have God's help when we fight those thoughts, and how God gives us His word to help us do that! Keep reading, this is where it gets really exciting!!
As I explained Jesus answer to the devil, Nicholas began to "recite" what he was going to say to the devil the next time he had a bad thought. At first he would say, "If the devil says to do something bad, I'll tell him NO, I won't do that because I don't like being grounded and God....."STOP right there Nicholas", I said. "It's not about YOU, it's about GOD! You think the devil cares if you get grounded or not? No! Try and say it like this, "NO, because GOD says......". I repeated this to him several times until I thought he had it. Finally he goes, "I'll say, "NO, because God say to honor your father and mother." You could see the look of confidence in his face as he recited his response to the devil when bombarded with wrong thoughts.
He then left my office and said he would be right back. When he returned, he handed me a letter and this is what it said,
"Dear Dad, Thank you for reading that story to me, and teaching me what to think and what not to think! Here's what I would say to the devil! (Devil)"Hey, go play basketball, you won't get in trouble." (Nicholas)"NO, because God says honor your father and mother."
If we, as Christians, could come to the point where we aren't afraid to stand in front of a mirror and "recite" our response to the devil's temptations, imagine the strength we would find in God!! Instead of listening to the devil say, "well you'll look like a fool doing that in front of a mirror!", we could be like my 9yr old son, Nicholas, and PRACTICE what we would do/say when we are being tempted by the devil. The devil will never stop tempting us, so we must never stop "practicing" how to react to those temptations! Don't grow up. "grow down"! Don't let the thought of "seeming" like an idiot for practicing your response to the devil's temptations stop you from actually doing it!!
Tonight I learned that my 9yr old son is stronger than me in this, that he is not afraid to do/say something that "I" would deem ridiculous or crazy. Thank you God for showing me that sometimes I need to be a kid again. Amen!
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